MVP Rewind | 2022

In late 2021, MVP was introduced to technology. In that time, the past four MVP seasons have been covered in great detail. We’re taking the offseason to rewind on MVP’s recent successes, starting with 2022.

2022

Result: DSSL Champions (defeated Dugouts 9-5)

Final Record: 13-2

Notables:

• (Re)-Signings:
  • Ryan James (Prev. Ret.)
  • Joe Sorrentino (Prev. Ret.)
  • Tom Brady (Prev. Rockcats)
  • Zach White (Prev. Rockcats)
  • Everett Wehr (Minor League Option)
  • Mike Giachetto (FA)
• MVP: Alex Bettenhauser
• Batting Champ: Ryan James .769 (13 ABs)
• Cy Young: Tom Loesch
• Player of the Year: Nick Rizzi .755, Hits Leader
• Rookie of the Year: Zach White

The 2022 season was an inflection point in MVP’s history, marking the first time someone capable of growing hair (on their head) was at the helm.

MVP reloaded their roster with stars from the past, RJ and Muscles, feeling more comfortable with young men than old according to Joe. Meanwhile, the Rock Cats disbanding meant an opportunity for MVP to add depth in the form of Zach White and Tom Brady. Yes, he actually played with them in 2021 and not us, I know. As if…

MVP would also make some notable deals bringing Everett Wehr and Mike Giachetto back for defense versatility following stints in 2021.

For what turned out to be a busy offseason featuring an introduction to MVP’s blog, uniforms, and roster, MVP fell flat on their faces Opening Day against their then biggest rivals, the Bagas, 8-7. MVP Insider wittingly donned it the “Kyrie Game” a rebuke towards Ryan James’ star-like entitlement to show up late, leave early, and blame communion for it all.

It was not the start MVP wanted, but it was the one they needed. They would go on to win 10 straight en route to winning their first DSSL title since 2019.

Below are the most notable games:

Jewish Shohei Arrives (in a Crazy Hat)

During the win streak that was extending through June, MVP began to see a little less of its icon, Tom Loesch. For years, Loesch and MVP were synonymous. In fact, his son, James, released his memoir, That’s Your Dad?: Softball, Sunday’s, and Life as Tom Loesch’s Son, that summer.

If that’s not enough of an indication of the depth those around Loesch would be impacted by his love for MVP, I don’t know what is. MVP needed an answer for a future ace, and it would be during a June matchup with the Stoners, that they’d find him.

MVP had not played the Stoners since their 2021 playoff scare, and it was then that Jon Rich approached the bench to request a shot. Management accepted.

Jon, while wearing a Jets construction helmet, gave up 5 runs in 8 innings, including 5 consecutive scoreless frames, and homered at the plate. Jewish Shohei had been born, and MVP would win 21-9, getting the win streak up to 6.

Side note, it says 1-Leg requested a picture of Pio getting his genitals pleasured by a bass?

Captain America Delivers on July 4th

MVP would stay hot into 4th of July weekend where they squared off in the first of a two-game set with the Bagas. It was an interesting lineup decision for the GM as he had 18 players arrive, all planning to play.

After a back and forth game, MVP found themselves trailing 12-9 heading into the 8th. With Gerard running his mouth, and the Bagas already leading the season series 1-0, they were feeling themselves.

For the first time, KB cued up “What a Fool Believes” and MVP found themselves leading 13-12 following a clutch go-ahead single by the Captain himself. It would become the rallying cry of MVP throughout the remainder of the season.

Late Inning Heroics from James Loesch (with excerpts from his blog)

This was a classic. Down by 6 in the bottom of the 9th, by this point in the action, the momentum had shifted fully in The Boys’ favor, and MVP was on the verge of defeat for the first time since week one.The top of the MVP lineup came to bat in the ninth, needing nothing short of a heroic effort.

And that’s exactly what they would get.

MVP would send James Loesch to the plate as the tying run, with two on, and two out, down three…James unloaded, launching the ball over the left fielder’s head. RJ and KB scored easily, with James racing around the bases behind them.

“But, when he turned third base, James saw what can only be described as a look of shock, horror, and awe on the face of third base coach Johnny One-Leg. One-Leg was frozen in his tracks and didn’t give James a sign to hold or continue home, so James rounded third, bearing down on the plate.

As soon as he got around third, he saw The Boys catcher squaring up to catch the ball. A perfect throw would have had him dead to rights, but the throw careened off the catcher’s glove and into the fence on the first base side, allowing James to score the tying run,” (Loesch, 2022).

In extras, rookie Everett Wehr knocked home Donnie for a 15-14 win over the Boys.

2022 Postseason

Quarter Finals: Following MVP’s fourth-consecutive top seed, they were squared up with the 8-seed Sizzlin’ who was extinguished as fast as possible, 13-4 win.

Semi Finals: They would face the Boys for a third and final time in the semis. The Boys experienced déjà-vu as MVP would deliver one of their signature dagger innings after trailing by one in the 8th. MVP would go on to win 13-9 with One Leg famously saying “Nighty Night Bitch” to a Boys’ player following the final out.

Many Boys players came over following the game saying that everyone, including their dogs, felt an MVP rally was inevitable.

DSSL Championship: In the finals, the young MVP Brew Crew found themselves matched up with the Dugouts, who had beaten MVP in the regular season finale. While the Dugouts were feeling good, Bettenhauser & Brady would go 5-5 with 4 runs and 5 RBIs combined while the GM redeemed his defensive blunders with timely offense in a 9-5 finals win.

Quotes of the Year

• “Men are tighter than women these days, especially after they have a kid.” – Muscles
• “We’re all going to shower later. Not together of course.” – Tom Loesch
• “Little does she know I’m sticking it in her butt later.” – Muscles
• “Gerard is less popular than a cash bar at a Jewish wedding.” – Tom Loesch

All statistics, rebukes and recollections are 100% accurate until proven otherwise. MVP is not liable for damages including bruised egos, misremembered or improvised narratives. Any rebroadcast or retransmission with the expressed written consent of the MVP Brew Crew is expressively prohibited.