MVP Sportsbook 2.4: A New Hope

Munch finally hits his first mortal lock of the year and all the boys get rocked taking overs. Maybe they’ll figure it out.

We have another new segment that I think everyone will absolutely love. It’s the “7 Hair Butthole Pick of the Week” presented by our #1 fan who shows out every weekend, Mr. Tommy Bett! Could this be the spark in the MVP Sportsbook that takes it to the top? The marketing team says this new segment will result in a 200x increase in viewership, although Jon will have to endure this traumatic event every week. But, sometimes we must make sacrifices for the greater good. DISCLAIMER: Tommy doesn’t want you throwing this in a parlay, take it straight up. Be a man. It put quite the smile on the boys’ face with his selection of Michigan -17.5 against the Nebraska “Cornholes,” because it “sounds like butthole”. Quite fitting. We are hoping that this can be a recurring special, as many of you will probably be hoping for as well. Hailey, if you’re reading this: yup, it has finally snuck its way into the blog now and you can’t say sh*t about it. womp womp.

NOTABLES:

• Tommy Bett guest appearance (are you nuts?)
• Shane has walkthroughs, picks delivered via text, misses a good one
• Chip guest appearance, takes Cowboys and over, Ev roasts him for the over
• Jon gets pretty confident after a couple of drinks
• Ev gets high on painkillers (legally)
• Ryan gives a couple plays
• Michigan State turning a new leaf? Still plenty of legal concerns.
• The boys try to figure out the stats (should we get a stats guy?)
• A couple more earthquakes/tsunamis whatever we wanna call em (do they hit? I haven’t done the math) *edit* did some quick maths and got back we’re 2-2 this year.
• Ev takes 40 minutes to get ready, zoom kicks us out before Jon’s mortal. One more strike and Ev will face having to pay for Zoom pro so we have unlimited time.
• Nick gets sick of overs, falls to the darkside

Alright, let’s get going with the plays, it’s 3am and I’m about to stay up to watch Daniil Medvedev hopefully dominate.

SIDE QUESTS! SIDE QUESTS!

A smashing hit amongst the boys, it’s back again. I think all the boys with actual plays hit at least one of their side quests bets (couldn’t really figure out how to measure how many game ending injuries there were, Ev).

• Munch- Vikings -9.5, -13.5, Justin Jefferson 125+ receiving yards
• Jon- “Go f*ck yourself Nick Saban play” Miss St. +14.5, Ole Miss +2.5 (not confident enough to say for blog, whatever that means), Jameis Winston o1.5 interceptions, Jets ML
• Ev- Jameis Winston 300+ passing yards, o1.5 interceptions, o2.5 TDs
• Shane- Caleb Williams 300+ passing yards

Kansas @ Texas -16.5, o/u 60.5

• Munch- Texas -16.5, u60.5
• Jon- Kansas +16.5, o60.5
• Everett- Texas -16.5
• Shane- Texas -16.5, o60.5

Notre Dame -5.5 @ Duke, o/u 53.5

UNDER EARTHQUAKE TSUNAMI YA MOTHER

• Munch- u53.5
• Jon- Duke +5.5, Notre Dame ML, u53.5
• Everett- Notre Dame -5.5, u53.5
• Shane- Notre Dame ML, u53.5

LSU -2.5 @ Ole Miss, o/u 67.5

• Munch- LSU -2.5, u67.5
• Jon- o67.5
• Everett- u67.5
• Shane- Ole Miss +2.5, u67.5

Dolphins +2.5 @ Bills, o/u 53.5

• Munch- o53.5
• Jon- Dolphins +2.5, ML, o53.5
• Everett- Bills -2.5, u53.5
• Shane- Dolphins ML, o53.5

Patriots @ Cowboys -6.5 o/u 43.5

A MEGA SMASHING EARTHQUAKE TSUNAMI BOYOS

• Munch- Cowboys -6.5, u43.5
• Jon- Cowboys -6.5, u43.5
• Everett- Cowboys -6.5, u43.5
• Shane- Cowboys -6.5, u43.5

Broncos @ Bears +3 o/u 46.5

• Munch- u46.5
• Jon- Bears +3, ML, o46,5
• Everett- Broncos -3, u46.5
• Shane- Broncos -3, o46.5

MORTALS

• Munch- California -12, Vikings -4
• Jon- Air Force -10.5, Steelers -3
• Everett- Michigan St./Iowa u36.5, Saints -3.5
• Shane- USC ML, Giants +2
• Reagan- wasn’t on the show (Ev text me her plays)
• Ryan- Florida ML, Cowboys -6.5 (hopping on the earthquake tsunami ride)

Here’s the video, Tommy is in the beginning, even if that’s all you watch, you’ll laugh a bit. Also, yes, I just found out I can put gifs into the blog, this will be recurring for every earthquake the boys have. Any qualms with this will be met with a RIBBIT RIBBIT (oh my god guys should we just ribbit really loudly instead of earthquakes?). I simply can’t get over the Kermit one.

GAMBLING PROBLEM? RIBBIT! CALL THE NATIONAL HELPLINE 1-800-522-4700

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