MVP Sportsbook 2.3: An Ode to Yom Kippur

Happy Yom Kippur to all of our Jewish viewers, especially our very own Jew, Jon. Unfortunately there were no yarmulkes (yes that’s how you spell it) provided, I don’t think this can be qualified as a hate crime.

Ev was the only one who hit a mortal lock last week (he hit both!), he has been given one oxy for his troubles. Nick is still yet to hit a mortal (0-5, R.I.P. to anyone who had a gun to their head and took my locks, clearly I gotta get a new locksmith). To put this into context, Reagan, who looks at the games for roughly 2 minutes, has hit more (she also went 2-0 last week).

Bubba is currently sitting at 70% overall, a rather impressive feat that has caught the eyes of our very own Tommy Bett. He has mentioned to MVP insiders that he is willing to support Jon’s plays financially based on his impressive intuition.

Ev is currently sitting in second place with a 50% record. Says a lot about the state of our picks.

NOTABLES:

• We’re gonna start naming the episodes
• Munch, Jon, and Ev join from the Mojo Dojo Wehr Casa House, Shane not here
• Ev still in love with Cam Rising (Utah’s QB)
• Jon gets distracted by Jennifer Garner
• The guys talk about how we should be putting these on Youtube and possibly TikTok so we can go viral and pay for golf trips and bats (it’s not gonna happen with most of our picks)
• A fly that we can’t kill keeps pissing us off
• Ev leg = still broken, too stubborn for wheelchair
• Reagan keeps asking us if we want pudding
• Skanky nurse confirmed skanky
• Side Quests!

Side Quests are a brand-new state of the art way of betting alongside us when we get an irrational feeling based on games we discuss. Some of the plays aren’t even playable, they’re just kinda there to further enforce our plays for this week. There’s a fair amount of side quests and honestly, I’m not sure you guys care. Below are the side quests, tail at your own risk, there’s almost no logic, only vibes.

• Munch- Raiders/Steelers u37.5, Colts 1H ML
• Jon- Rutgas +24, Zach Wilson u1.5 interceptions
• Ev- Jets/Pats o3.5 injuries (must be out for rest of game)
• Shane- Audric Estime (Notre Dame RB) o85 rushing yards & ATD, Rhamondre Stevenson u60 rushing yards, Kenny Pickett smallest QB hands

Here are the actual plays:

Florida State -1.5 @ Clemson, o/u 55.5

• Munch- Florida State -1.5, o55.5
• Jon- Florida State -1.5, o55.5
• Everett- o55.5
• Shane- Florida State -1.5, u55.5

Ohio State -3.5 @ Notre Dame, o/u 55.5

• Munch- Ohio State -3.5
• Jon- Notre Dame +3.5, ML, o55.5
• Everett- Notre Dame +3.5 ML
• Shane- Notre Dame +3.5, ML, o55.5

UCLA +3.5 @ Utah, o/u 52.5

MASSIVE UTAH AND OVER EARTHQUAKE

• Munch- Utah -3.5, o52.5
• Jon- Utah -3.5, o52.5
• Everett- Utah -3.5, o52.5
• Shane- Utah -3.5, o52.5

Patriots -2.5 @ Jets, o/u 36.5

• Munch- u36.5
• Jon- Jets ML, u36.5
• Everett- Pats -2.5
• Shane- Jets +2.5, 36.5

Falcons +3 @ Lions o/u 46.5

• Munch- Lions -3, o46.5
• Jon- Falcons +3, Lions ML, o46.5
• Everett- Lions -3, o46.5
• Shane- Lions ML, o43.5

Rams @ Bengals -2.5 o/u 43.5

• Munch- Bengals -2.5
• Jon- Bengals -2.5, u43.5
• Everett- Bengals -2.5, u43.5
• Shane- Bengals ML, u43.5

MORTALS

• Munch- Hawaii/NMSU o57, Colts +7.5
• Jon- Duke -22.5, Miami/Denver o46.5
• Everett- Rutgers/Michigan o43.5, Jags TTo 26.5
• Shane- Florida -27.5, Steelers +2.5
• Reagan- Duke -22.5, Bengals -2.5

Here’s the video, if you made it this far text Shane that we gotta get the Youtube going (I don’t think he’s in charge of the Youtube).

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