Midweek Rundown

• Matty Baylous to return
• Spanky debut on hold
• Jon Rich to start Sunday, Loesch at shortstop
• Rich joins infamous foes in batting title race
• Is Donegan alive?

The GM’s reaction when told Friday afternoon that the “Great One” (also known as “Beautician”, “Better Baylous”, and “Lover Boy”) would make his return to MVP was similar to that of Gretzky’s above. Matty Baylous’ absence did not surprise the MVP front office after discussions during the winter meetings were held in which Baylous expressed interest in joining the LIV tour. However, since its merger with the PGA, Matty felt his talents deserved to be in an environment in which its players were capable, nay, known, for painting the town red. MVP and their antics fit the bill.

While Matty has been hitting the links on Sunday’s, Kevin “Spanky” Cutinella has been away in Dallas doing god-knows-what. Spanks gave the impression he was planning on being back for the game and was the main reason behind management accepting a Stoners match-up. However, the GM was informed that his season debut will be put on hold until next week’s meeting against the Cream Team.

Speaking of creamy things, Big Johnny Rich will be starting on Sunday because his performance was too good not to deserve an encore. In a show of good faith by management, Tom Loesch has been afforded the opportunity to play shortstop. Or sit and drink. Ball is in your court, Loesch.

Tennis Sunday morning?

And if Johnny’s pitching isn’t enough, he’s hitting .765!! Good enough for third on the team behind the handsome GM (.800) and Ryan Fucking James (.786). Looks like it’s gonna be a spicy July…

Did you scroll this far? You did? Well, if you didn’t, you probably also missed the last bullet where Mike Donegan is missing. You may have actually forgot to realize the past MONTH Donegan hasn’t been here. Where is Mike Donegan?

I know you read these, Michael.