Midweek Rundown

• MVP Players need alarm clocks
• Baga Week 🤝 Costume Week
• Sorrentino to Return; RJ backs out to avoid hazing
• Zach White makes MVP claim

Hello loyal readers. Welcome to this week’s Midweek Rundown. You may be asking, “alarm clocks? What could we possibly need alarm clocks for?” Well, I’m here to tell you MVP has 10 this week. This will be the storied rivals first match-up since last July after MVP took 2 of out 3 in the season series. The Bagas failed to advance in the playoffs after meeting an unexpected and untimely demise to the Bullworms.

That being said, wake up and show up on time, please.

After everyone comes on time, as is expected each and every week, MVP players will be sporting costumes this Sunday to liven up the party and hopefully get a rise out of an unnamed Baga player. This will be the first time MVP holds a costume-themed game and it’s merely a media stunt by our communications director, Shane White, to rise to TikTok stardom.

Now that the boring housekeeping as been addressed; let’s gossip. Pretty interesting the first week Muscles returns to the field after suffering…

A finger injury?

Hemorrhoids?

What is psychically wrong with you, Joe?

…that Ryan James is out. Not an “In, I think.” A straight “Out.” It appears the thought of Sorrentino bullying him on top of being his daughter’s third favorite player on the team behind the ever-charming GM and Meat Cannon was too much for his little heart to handle. Oh well, the batting title will find its way back home soon enough.

Not so fast.

Have you been watching Zach White? He’s really f*cking good. As of last Sunday, Zach White has the 2nd-highest batting average amongst qualified hitters (.792). He is currently posting a triple slash of .792/1.250/2.042 and has cemented himself as one of MVP’s heavy hitters in the heart of the lineup for the foreseeable future. And this guy hasn’t swung a bat since middle school.

What’s your excuse?

In addition to his unreal numbers, he’s currently top 4 in Home Runs (2), Runs Scored (10), and RBIs (10). And boy is he nice. Never has the nicest guy on the team also won the MVP. His teammate, who bears the same name as him, also has his eyes set on an MVP trophy, but will Zach White stand in his way? Only time will tell. See below for Vegas’ MVP MVP odds:

• Z-Dubs +200
• Meat Cannon +550
• GM +800
• 1-Leg: +1150
• Field: +10000
• RJ: 0% Chance