MVP Sportsbook Ep. VII

Hi, it’s Nick again.

As usual, I’ve forgotten to post this before our mortal locks played but you and I both know that none of us watch the podcast, except my dad.

The boys did well last week; Bubba went 6-3 (1-1 locks), I went 6-2 (0-2 locks), and Slinky went 5-3 (0-2 locks). I think this is the first time we all went over .500, congrats boys. We’ve made the discovery that our locks are more likely to miss than they are to hit, but hey, we’re trying our best and no one is really taking our picks (sometimes I don’t even remember which plays I took).

We had some special guests arrive in this episode:

• The GM made his second appearance (even though he’s technically supposed to be the host but that’s neither here nor there). Now known as the “Fade God”, coined by Bubba, after the GM said he was taking the opposite side of every game if all three of us chose the same side, not a bad strategy, but certainly a morale killer.

• Kevin, aka “Spanky”, from all the way down in Texas (real dedication). Kevin mentioned taking the Washington Huskies +4. He also mentioned he was taking a brief hiatus from college basketball (1 day stint).

• Captain Baylous made a brief appearance, questioning why the Bills weren’t one of the featured games, he was given a two minute minor in the waiting room for not watching the previous 6 episodes where the Bills are featured nearly every time.

There weren’t any penises drawn (I think), but if there were, the MVP Brew Crew management does not condone the drawings (have to say it, job on the line).

MVP GM – There was one and we apologize.

We learned that Jon can’t spell Missouri. It’s M-I-S-S-O-U-R-I. We will be holding free literacy courses hosted by everyone’s favorite blogger, especially mine, James Loesch. All are welcomed, some are heavily encouraged to attend, you know who you are.

We had some fun again with the virtual backgrounds so if you get bored of the commentary, just watch it with the sound off and see how stupid we look as cows and shit. Also if you watch just the very end, the GM asks one burning question, Smash or Pass?

Here are the plays from our favorite degenerates:

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Wake Forest -2 V. Missouri o/u58.5

• Bubba: Wake -2 & o58.5
• Munch: Wake -2 & u58.5
• Slinky: Wake -2
• GM: Fading Wake

Coastal Carolina V. East Carolina -7.5 o/u 62.5

• Bubba: Coastal +7.5 & o62.5
• Munch: Coastal +7.5 & o62.5
• Slinky: o62.5
• GM: Fading o62.5

Wisconsin -3 V. Oklahoma State o/u 43.5

• Bubba: Wisconsin -3 & u43.5
• Munch: u43.5
• Slinky: Wisconsin -3, u42.5
• GM: Fading u42.5

NFL

Cowboys -4.5 V. Eagles o/u46.5

• Bubba: Cowboys -4.5
• Munch: Cowboys -4.5
• Slinky: u46.5
• GM: F*ck the Birds

Texans V. Titans -3 o/u35.5

• Bubba: Texans ML
• Munch: u35.5
• Slinky: Titans -3

Seahwaks V. Chiefs -10 o/u49.5

• Bubba: Seattle +10, o49.5
• Munch: Kansas City -10
• Slinky: o49.5

MORTAL LOCKS

CFB: Baylor -4.5 | Air Force +6.5 (imagine NOT taking the military team in the Armed Forces Bowl?) | UCF/Duke o62.5

NFL: Raiders +2.5 | Jaguars ML | Bengals -3

Reagan: Ole Miss -3.5 (she can relate to Sandra Bullock’s character Leigh Anne Tuohy from The Blindside) | Cardinals +7.5 (her family lives in Arizona)

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Betting.

Don’t tell Matty Baylous that Santa isn’t real.

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