MVP Sportsbook Ep.VI

First things first, Rest in Peace Mike Leach, the legendary college football coach who passed away this week at the age of 61. Mike Leach was one of Tom Loesch’s nominees for the MVP GM shortlist, but he declined citing Loesch stiffed him out of a weekend room in Montauk in both 2016 and 2017. (UNCONFIRMED)

We didn’t get an episode last week because one of the show’s leading correspondents neglected to share the Zoom recording. Not saying any names, but it certainly reduces any chance of a nepotism-driven GM succession. Regardless, it means the fine people of MVP might have to wait another week for the GM to join an on-air episode, if there is one.

DISCLAIMER! IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH ADULT LANGUAGE, ADULT CONTENT, AND LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF, IT’S IN THIS EPISODE SO TURN AWAY NOW.

To start the episode, I mean as soon as I opened up the MP4 to watch, I saw what appeared to be a digitally-drawn penis on top of a stick figure of Slinky. My brother then wished me, your handsome GM, a happy birthday, but this isn’t about that, it’s the fact that he couldn’t remember my age, which is 24. Slinky then said because Hailey, his sister and Zach’s girlfriend, was born in 1998 and is 24, like myself, I must be 23.

He was late because of math tutoring.

Quite honestly, this entire Zoom will likely get MVP cancelled so this is probably going to be the last episode for a number of reasons ranging from drawings of genitalia, motor boating female breasts, and a discussion on pedophilia in sports.

Other notables that weren’t completely awful:

• Bubba confuses a Panda for a Polar Bear
• Jimmy Kimmel apparently has a bowl game, team discusses the possibility of MVP hosting a 6-win bowl game in 2023. Running list of names include, but not limited to: MVP Brew Crew Bowl, Fuck Ryan James Bowl, etc. (DEVELOPING…)
• Zach White made an appearance and is currently in contract negotiations with MVP to get a raise from penny-pinching Loesch who still works out some contractual logistics on the GM’s behalf. (DEVELOPING…)
• MVP Health Class?

If we’re being completely honest, which this blogger is about 80% of the time, I have no idea who picked the games or the games themselves, but here they are:

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Marshall -10 V. UCONN o/u40.5

• Bubba: Marshall -10 & o/u40.5
• Munch: Marshall -10 & o/u40.5
• Slinky: u40.5

Oregon St. -10 V. Florida o/u53

• Bubba: Oregon St. -10 & o53
• Munch: Oregon St. -10
• Slinky: Oregon St. -10

Louisville -1 V. Cincy o/u40

• Bubba: Cincy ML
• Munch: Cincy ML
• Slinky: u40

NFL

Cowboys -4 V. Jaguars o/u47.5

• Bubba: Cowboys -4 & o47.5
• Munch: Cowboys -4
• Slinky: Cowboys -4

Giants +4.5 V. Commanders o/u40.5

• Bubba: Commanders -4.5 & u40.5
• Munch: Giants +4.5 & u40.5
• Slinky: Commanders -4.5 & u40.5

Bills -7.5 V. Dolphins o/u44

• Bubba: Dolphins +7.5
• Munch: Dolphins +7.5
• Slinky: Bills -7.5

MORTAL LOCKS

CFB: Fresno St./Wash St o52 | SJST -3.5 | Boise St. -11

NFL: Lions ML | Ravens +3 | Cardinals/Broncos u36.5 (Cripple Bowl #letsride – Bubba)

Reagan: Louisville -1 (she’ll be there for a balloon convention in Feb.) | UCONN +10 (Ev looks good in navy blue and it was a nice campus to tour)

I’m starting to think Reagan doesn’t actually know much about the games she picks.

Anyways, here’s the video and apologies for any imagery that offends our viewership, but we have Muscles on the roster, so they’re likely used to it.

GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL THE NATIONAL HELPLINE 1-800-522-4700

The MVP Brew Crew Organization does not condone literally anything that happened in this episode. Any likeness of MVP or MVP-affiliates within this blog is purely coincidental.Terms and conditions apply for all bonuses. Must be 21+ to participate.