MVP in on Judge Race

Over the weekend, the MVP GM was left empty-handed after failing to obtain Jacob deGrom or Justin Verlander. MVP’s GM has made it a goal to find a formidable replacement for Tom Loesch as MVP’s ace for the future. Unfortunately, collecting $50 from 20 guys and $25 from an unnamed player, MVP’s budget was not as competitive as the GM hoped it’d be heading into the Winter Meetings this week in San Diego.

The silver lining from missing out on 2 of the game’s best? MVP has the opportunity to enter the Judge sweepstakes. MVP has struggled to find a right fielder since John “One-Leg” Merrill’s transition to catcher. Last season, Tom Brady slid into the role and has been there since June. Tom, however, has made quite a few complaints about the position. Here are some soundbites from Brady when talking to an MVP Insider reporter in the outfield:

• “Nobody hits it out here”
• “I’ll go out there if I have to”
• “Could Rizz’s ass look any better?”
• “Why is it always wet out here? My socks are soaked.”

As you can see, this is not the kind of attitude the GM is hoping to get out of his comrade on the right-side of the outfield.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: if we can’t afford either pitcher, how can we afford Judge? A valid question to be asking. MVP is hoping to leverage its winning culture and proximity to the Hamptons as its primary selling points. If that’s not enough, the MVP GM has vowed to take more extreme measures to prove his eagerness to obtain the American League MVP’s services. Here’s a quote from our very own on his pursuit of Judge,

“We (MVP) are obviously aware of the type of generational talent Aaron is. His leadership skills, intimidating stature, and commercial value can take MVP to new heights all the while, adding to an already storied franchise and possibly the manslaughter of a third baseman or two.”

He went on to address the elephant in the room as well…

“I am aware that Aaron is an adversary of our former starting shortstop, Ryan James, following a run-in the two had at a rally in Manhattan during Pride Month. I believe that the two could work together, but I am not willing to risk the club’s best interests. It is at this point that Ryan James will be used for human sacrifice as a way to prove to Aaron how eager we are to provide him a toxic-free clubhouse and the smoothest transition imaginable to MVP.”

MVP GM, maybe

It’s clear the GM is not finished reloading an already stacked roster. Upon speaking with Shane White, he (Shane) said he’d be willing to give up his number 99 so long as Judge beats him out in a push-up contest officiated by Mrs. Merrill. If that’s true, here’s the first look at what the GM hopes to be MVP’s right fielder for the future:

Stay tuned to MVP Insider for the latest gossip, hot stove news, and Ryan James hate during the off-season.