Champs.

Did you have any doubt?

Anticipations were high for a rematch of the season finale in which the Dugouts secured the 2-seed in a 16-12 win over a distracted and underwhelming MVP side in late July.

Was that an indication for things to come on Sunday?

Nope.

Let’s run it back.

Following an 8:30 arrival time for many MVP players, the team was able to have their first batting practice session prior to a postseason game. Did it help MVP players not hit lazy fly balls all day? Not particularly, but it did ensure they scored more runs than the Dugouts and that’s all that matters I suppose.

To the Finals…

1st Inning:

Following a string of low line drives in classic Dugout style, the 2nd-ranked club found themselves with the bases loaded with no outs before MVP could even blink.

Would this be where the budding MVP stars unravel at the seams?

That would be a negative as the Dugouts were only able to scratch across a single run.

In an effort to immediately throw a retaliation punch, the timeless 1-2 combo of the GM & Rizz produced back-to-back singles and put the Dugouts on their heels as MVP had runners on the corners with nobody out. Tom Brady, known fly out machine, ripped a line drive that had just enough english to drop in front of the sliding Dugout outfielder and allowed the GM to score MVP’s only run of the 1st as Shane, Cirincione, and Muscles went down in order.

1-1.

Side Note: MVP’s 4-7 hitters went a combined 1-11 with 1 run and 1 RBI. How we were able to survive that is a testament to the bench mob. Carrying on…

2nd Inning:

Nada.

3rd Inning:

Being as the Dugouts hit a reasonable amount of hitters (12), the top of their order came back around in the 3rd and they were able to score 2 after a few misplayed balls by the GM and somebody else who is slipping my mind. Let’s be real, we’re only going to remember the times the GM f*cked up because the target on his back is about the size of Muscles’ biceps. The GM did, however, throw out a runner attempting to score to end the inning which was fairly redeemable.

I think.

In the bottom half of this inning, the MVP lineup appeared to have confused the objective of slow pitch softball and instead hit 3 straight fly balls to left field. The book reads 7-7-7 in order and, while that is a great pull on a Vegas slot, it is not a desired outcome here.

3-1 Dugouts.

4th Inning:

After a tidy top half of the 4th, MVP got their inning kickstarted by reckless catalyst, Everett Wehr. Everett had yet another questionable double thanks in large part to wet grass, a tired Dugouts team, and a young stallion in fourth gear.

Tom Loesch would line out as the Dugouts were playing him about the same distance the children in the Little League World Series are positioned.

With 1 out, an eager rookie on second, and a bench full of hecklers, the GM stepped up and delivered a single to drive in Wehr. Rizz, like he always does, would do the same and MVP once again had runners on the corners for Tom Brady.

Tom would hit a sac fly. Just kidding. Brady ripped a ball into left-center and, although the Dugout outfielder had a headband AND wristband on, there was no amount of accessories that would help him catch this. Stopping at third for a triple, MVP took hold of the lead, never looking back.

Shane delivered a sac fly that would’ve been a homer if MVP had a semi-decent bat, but we make do with what we have.

5-3 MVP.

5th Inning:

Nada.

6th Inning:

The Dugouts score 1 in the top half of the frame and, let’s be honest, I have no idea how they scored. We can safely say Ryan James must’ve done something.

MVP came up in the bottom half and looked to former batting champ, Munchie, to start things off.

Did he have it in him to ignite a rally as his partner in crime did a couple innings before?

He did indeed.

After a Munch single, Z-Dubs and Pat ripped a pair of singles. Ok. Only Zach ripped the ball. Pat hit a bloop shot into right that he couldn’t have thrown into a better spot. Regardless, it’s a line drive in this GM’s book and Munch would come across to take back the run allowed in the top half. Pat came around on an Ev sac fly to add another insurance run.

7-4 MVP.

7th Inning:

The Dugouts score a run after the GM drops a shallow pop fly. To which he is heckled by his teammates, opponents, his own mother, and, according to some sources, Mrs. Merrill. Ryan James claimed he could’ve caught it, but do we really know that for sure?

In an attempt to redeem himself for the second time in a championship game, the GM led off with a rip into left-center field that would be misplayed by the same Dugout outfielder, who again, didn’t have quite enough accessories to make the play. It’s a double in our book nonetheless.

Rizz would have a productive out, advancing the GM followed by a sac fly off the bat of Tom Brady, for real, to score.

8-5 MVP.

8th Inning:

At this point in the game it is hot as all hell and the Dugouts’ age is starting to show a bit. Craig Bear, Dugout Mascot, made this clear to the MVP third base coach that his teammates appeared tired and felt a tent was necessary. Still tent-less, their performance and demeanor in the top of the 8th would confirm Bear’s evaluation.

In the bottom of the 8th, the formidable 4-7 hitters would come to the plate and get their only hit in the form of an RJ single after the Dugout shortstop booted a ball, almost appearing surprised Ryan James didn’t pop up to him again. Ryan James would score on an astronomically clutch Captain KB single and Pio would get thrown out at home after poor base coaching by, you guessed it, the GM.

9-5 MVP.

9th Inning:

Coming out to “Red Right Hand”, MVP’s captain couldn’t have sent a clearer message: This game was over. To start the final inning of the season, the Dugout shortstop would take approximately 10 pitches before lining out to a much better shortstop, Kyle Baylous. If you’re gonna take that many pitches, you have to get a hit, really. I mean 10 pitches? Give me a break guy.

Viva el capitán.

MVP would easily pick up the second out and after a deep drive to left, everyone in the zip code heard Pio call it off to cap off the best MVP campaign in years. After the ball landed where so many hits have died before, MVP walked off the field as if they had won a casual game in early June.

Business as usual.

FINAL: 9-5 MVP.

Notables:

• Ryan James rolls in at 9:28 for 9:30 championship.
• GM attempted to trade RJ for Raimondo earlier in the week, but it was vetoed by Blake.
• John Merrill and Matt Baylous volunteer to not hit in an effort to make the lineup more competitive in terms of length, not ability. They’re very good. Regardless, thank you to them for being unreal team players.
• Biemer hits 1.000 in playoffs; Muscles hits .000.
• Jay White makes his first appearance of the season.
• MVP finished entire cooler minus a few PBRs.
• Player on Dugouts lost his cat, Wallace, RIP.
• A Year in Review with Tom Loesch blog to come.
• MVP has a successful post game barbecue in which Loesch brings champagne, RJ brings his children, and Rizz brings munchkins and his hot sister.
• GM teaches Wes to swim.
• Muscles upset with modern beer pong rules.
• Possible community programs basketball team. (DEVELOPING…)

What a season. Hala MVP.

Send us home Doobie Brothers.

Cheers.