Shane White D*cks Down MVP-filled Baga Squad

While this is certainly the most aggressive headline we’ve ever had, it is for good reason.

Shane White is f*cking back baby.

After a slow start to the postseason, hitting .250 with a pair of runs and RBIs to his name, Shane White was sent to a Jon Rich-led and MVP-affiliate squad, the Hack Daddies, for a tune-up prior to Sunday’s championship. Shane, a 3-time home run leader and strongest guy on the team, didn’t quite have the success his adoring fans have come to expect from the MVP slugger. However, a slew of injuries, including a tight hammy (previously rubbed out by team physician, John Merrill), has been the leading cause behind some bad breaks at the plate.

All of that has come to a screeching holt as, last night, amongst an arsenal of DSSL peers and against a Baga team featuring both the GM and Captain (not an item), Shane was head and certainly shoulders above the rest.

His defensive prowess at the hot corner has made the GM consider starting him there on Sunday, but as confirmed on thing for sure; Munch will be the third-string third baseman moving forward. Munch has accepted this demotion with grace as Shane is a clubhouse favorite and Munch is pretty non-confrontational. The defensive, however, was merely an added bonus to MVP’s future as Shane was putting balls into the parking lot as he clobbered 2 or 3 moonshots that were on their way to the LIE and collecting double digit RBIs in the 2-game sweep of the Bagas.

Doing it, BTW, in a Mandalorian t-shirt made it all the more intimidating and spells really, really bad news for the Dugouts.

Following his dominant performance, he had this to say to local reporters,

“After a frustrating Round 1, a mildly successful stint representing Ireland in the beer olympics, and a disappointing end to Sunday’s game against the Boys, I decided it could be worse; I could be Ryan James.

Tonight, (Thursday), I decided to play with the mentality “What Would Ryan James Do” and then I did the opposite.

Starting with actually showing up to the game and followed by hitting home runs and fielding ground balls cleanly.

All-in-all, I think I was pretty successful.”

Shane White, probably not though

Successful it was indeed, but beat reporters found it curious that he’d use his time in the spotlight to bash Ryan James. Odd.

Regardless, with his defensive excellence and powerhouse hitting, all that’s missing is a fully-grown mustache and this guy is a modern-day Mike Schmidt.

With Shane’s help, MVP is slated to take on the veteran Dugouts in the championship. MVP is seeking its first championship since 2019 and 4th since integrating back into the league in 2008. Just like the previous championship campaign, Shane White will be hitting clean-up, but this time, will be making his first career start at first base.