MVP Extinguishes Sizzlin’

To most of the MVP turnout’s surprise, Sizzlin’ was able to field a team albeit not until 10:00.

Let’s just go to the game.

1st Inning:

GM leads off with a triple and is driven in by John “Automatic Hit” Cirincione. Shane Vogelbach White then drove him around on a double and then comes around himself on a Munchie single.

3-0 MVP.

2nd Inning:

MVP immediately hands the 3 runs back after a series of kicked balls.

3-3.

3rd Inning:

Tom Loesch gets things going with a RuPaul song and then proceeds to single, 1 of 3 on the day, followed by the GM and the Captain. The GM came around on a Cirincione sac fly.

5-3 MVP.

4th Inning:

Nothing in terms of scoring happened, but Tom Brady pops up to the catcher and then the pitcher in his following at-bat. Needless to say, Tom is making a case to not continue playing with MVP.

5th Inning:

On the other hand, Donnie Baseball and Gio are making the opposite case as they both collected big hits on the day and played like they actually wanted to be there. A 1-Leg sac fly would bring home Donnie and the second of Loesch’s 3 hits would bring around Gio. The GM, Captain, and Cirincione kept the line moving with a string of singles.

9-3 MVP.

6th Inning/7th Inning:

Nothing particularly notable went down, but Tom Loesch did provide us with two wonderful quotes.

“He may look like Tarzan, but he hits like Jane.”

Tom Loesch on J-Rich

“That kid is softball’s swiss army knife.”

Tom Loesch on Gio

The second quote appeared to go over Tarzan’s head as he couldn’t understand the versatility angle Loesch was trying to get across.

8th Inning:

Sizzlin scores 1 in the top half which is almost 100% the GM’s fault for trying to turn a triple play and neglecting to take the ball with him to do so. Safe to say the outfield will be his designated location moving forward.

MVP’s veterans were due up in the bottom half and the GM, due up 4th, had his batting gloves on. Keith “Silver Fox” Sperling was surprised by the GM’s confidence and said this,

“If a blind squirrel can find a nut, I’d like to think at least 1 of 3 can.”

GM

Boy was the GM right, 1-Leg rips a double down the line and Keith says “Hold My Beer” and smashes a ball that would likely have left Yankee Stadium. This is probably the last time will see pop like that, but it was a nice nostalgic moment. Loesch collected the 3rd in a hat trick of singles to drive home Keith. And then the GM, Captain, and Cirincione kept things going. Brady then came up on the cusp of an 0-4 day, which would’ve happened had a sac fly not bailed him out. In an effort to distract the already disabled-hitting Brady, Munch did his best Carl Wheezer impression and yelled,

“Croissant.”

Munch as Carl Wheezer

After an uneventful 9th, MVP advances to Round 2 in a rematch with the Boys.

Final 13-4 MVP.

Notables:

• James essentially quits and wanted to go home after an 0-3 day
• Adam, Pio, GM, and Shane touch softball covered in dog shit
• Doobie Brothers dubbed MVP anthem
• Gio texts GM to play next, GM accepts
• Donnie hoses a Sizzlin’ guy
• Gio snipped rounding third
• Loesch fields comebacker for first time since George Bush was president, unsure which one
• Munchie makes web gem at third base
• Bullworms beat Gerard which MVP finds funny, congrats to them