MVP Rolls Past Stoners 21-9 on Crazy Hat Day

MVP showed up to the field looking different than usual as most players came in sporting crazy hats. Some notables hats that warrant mentioning include Captain KB’s welder’s helmet, Ringo’s eskimo hat, sun hats from Tom and Everett, Shane’s football helmet, Muscles’ ‘Peaky Blinders’ cap, Rich’s Jets construction helmet, and the GM’s beer helmet. All-in-all, it was a successful crazy hat day.

Some history worth noting prior to this game.

Last season, top-seeded MVP found themselves trailing by 7 runs in the bottom of the 9th to the severely underestimated Stoners in the 1st round of the 2021 postseason. A loss that surely would’ve resulted in the Loesch family moving out-of-state and essentially cost him the organization during the offseason. MVP did come back and win. Under new management, it was crucial for MVP to send a message they were not looking for another nail-biter.

Now, let’s get to business. I am not giving player reports and we are going back to the traditional game recap. Tough.

First Inning:

BANG! One swing into the game and MVP is on the board with a home run from London (4-5, HR, 2B, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs), 1-0 MVP. Before the Stoners had a chance to pass the joint, BANG! Another bomb from the Meat Cannon (3-4, 2 2Bs, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs), but because he’s doing his best 1-Leg imitation, he could only leg –pun intended– out a double. No worries, BANG! ANOTHER ONE! Jon Rich (2-5, HR, 2B, 2 Runs, 3 RBIs, Winning Pitcher) sends one into next week and MVP is up 4-0. The Brew Crew would tag on another 2 via Muscles (3-4, 1 Run, 1 RBI) and KB (2-4, 1 Run, 1 RBI).

In the bottom of the 1st, Tom Loesch (1-4, 2 Runs, Save) came out to face the first batter in a pre-arranged decision to allow his streak to extend, sorry Cal, Loesch is still coming. Rich came in to pick up the final 2 outs and MVP was looking good early.

Second Inning:

Rich found himself in early trouble with the bases loaded and 1 out until an improv mound visit was made by Loesch. It was clear Tom couldn’t stay away from the bump for more than an inning; MVP’s team psychologist will work with Tom during the week to handle his addiction. One pitch later, 4-6-3 double play. Whatever Tom said, it worked. MVP 6-0 going into the 3rd.

“I’ll take that combo over Kyle and Ryan any day of the week.”

Muscles following his double play turn with Brady

Third Inning:

MVP puts on 3 runs as Brady (3-4, 2B, 2 Runs, 2 RBIs) and Rich drive in 3 giving the Crew a 9-0 lead.

This is where things got interesting.

The Stoners’ bats woke up as they peppered the middle and put on 5. 9-5 MVP after 3.

How would MVP respond at the plate? Well, the GM had that handled. Prior to the top of the 4th, the GM recognized the trend this game was going and was not having another episode like they did last year. Here’s his first in-game speech in a nutshell:

This sh*t is not happening again…hit the f*cking ball on the ground…let’s finish them here.

Snippets GM’s 4th inning speech

Fourth Inning:

MVP scored 9 runs and takes an 18-5 lead and then blanks the Stoners in the bottom half.

We got a pretty good GM huh?

Fifth Inning – End of Game:

These were fairly clean innings as Rich held the Stoners scoreless in 5 straight innings (4th-8th). MVP would put on another 3 in that time and the Stoners would score 4 in the bottom of the 9th in Loesch’s not-so-clean save.

21-9 MVP as they take their 6-game winning streak into a 2-game set against the Bagas.

Notables:

• 3-hit games from Ringo, Ev, and 1-Leg
• Ringo & Ev collect hits lefty, Loesch does not
• MVP doesn’t take remaining team headshots
• Keith tells GM he is the perfect successor to Loesch
• Muscles smells great and his new fragrance is available at your nearest Kohl’s
• Rich gets beer knocked over 1 pitch into 5th inning
• Brady makes a web gem play and Keith boots easy pop-up in consecutive batters
• Old guy on Stoners slams bat as if he was expecting to get a hit
• Rich upset over Ringo’s positioning in left
• Shane catches bullet liner in helmet
• Ringo throws game ball into MVP dugout during game
• Pat takes the cooler
• 1-Leg requests a picture of Pio getting his genitals pleasured by a bass, I’m just as surprised as you guys. (DEVELOPING…)
• Ryan James trade with Bagas in the works ahead of series and Muscles requests his jersey afterwards