1st Half in Review: MVP Player Reports

As we enter Week 7 of the DSSL 2022 Season, it’s time to take a look as to how the MVP players have performed throughout the first 6 weeks.

Kyle “Captain KB” Baylous: 3 Games | .636/.636/1.273 | 3 Runs, 5 RBIs

Following the Bagas defeat, Kyle went on a 3-week hiatus making trips to our minor league affiliates in Binghamton, Ontario, and Rochester, but came back a man on a mission going 6-8 the last 2 weeks. His return to second base is expected to pay huge dividends for MVP going into a tough stretch of games against the Bagas in early July.

Matty “Ringo” Baylous: 4 Games | .385/.462/.846 | 2 Runs, 3 RBIs, 1 XBH

Matty has already gone through 3 nicknames in 6 weeks as ‘Beautician’ and ‘Better Baylous’ have both yielded to ‘Ringo.’ Ringo has been the best catcher in the league who is below the legal drinking age and has been credited for the success of MVP’s rotation. Expectations are for his offense to push him into the conversation for ROY.

Alex “London” Bettenhauser: 6 Games | .720/1.160/1.880 | 13 Runs, 12 RBIs, 7 XBHs

F*ck him.

Nick “Munch” Bettenhauser: 1 Game | .667/.667/1.333 | 1 Runs, 2 RBIs, 4 Countries Visited

The defending batting champ will not qualify to keep the title this season, but will return for Week 12 against the Dugouts. He has become an amateur soccer player and picked up an accent.

Pat Biemer: 2 Games | .714/.714/1.429 | 3 Runs, 1 RBI

Pat has been pretty much MIA since his car troubles and is gradually returning from an otolaryngology injury. He will return in Week 7 for the Stoners and his sneaky batting average makes him a sleeper pick for the 2022 Batting Title.

Tom Brady: 1 Game | .750/.750/1.500 | 3 Runs

Tom is finally back and, with his return, it’ll be tough to beat an already stacked MVP roster. He is clearly locked in has he has his eyes set on one thing and one thing only: Tom Loesch. I’m kidding. It’s the batting title, which is very much within reach if he can be an MVP regular moving into the 2nd half.

John Cirincione: 4 Games | .643/.714/1.429 | 3 Runs, 4 RBIs, 1 XBH

Cirincione has been to Fire Island and Tennessee since Week 4 and was on fire prior to his travels. He provided an early spark in the Bagas defeat with a huge pinch-hit double and has fixed multiple bats that have been broken.

Frank Cutinella: 1 Game | .750/.750/1.500 | 2 Runs

Frank delivered on his promise and made it to 1 game in June despite his move to Georgia on the horizon. As per usual, Frank was elite at the plate and at shortstop, reminding us how unlucky we are to have Ryan James instead.

Kevin Cutinella: 3 Games | .455/.455/.909 | 3 Runs, 5 RBIs

The game is simply better when Kevin is there. In his 3 games, Kevin has been a consistent force to lengthen MVP’s lineup, making it impossible for teams to breathe. He has also been a solid right fielder in his brief stints out there.

Mike Donegan: 4 Games | .333/.533/.867 | 3 Runs, 3 RBIs, 1 XBH

Mike is still yet to speak and, as a result, MVP hired a translator to decipher Mike’s body language to the rest of the clubhouse. That being said, his play has been speaking for itself as Pio’s injury left many wondering what the GM would do in the outfield without his glove. Mike has answered the call, now we just need him to set his alarm on Sundays.

Mike “Gio” Giacchetto: 4 Games | .400/.667/1.067 | 2 Runs, 7 RBIs, 3 XBHs

Thank the lord for Gio because from Weeks 3-5, MVP was experiencing an infielder shortage, especially at the shortstop position. Mike has shown up and been a shoe-in for an infield gold glove award as far as this GM is concerned.

Ryan James: 2 Games | .833/1.167/2.000 | 4 Runs, 1 RBI, 2 XBHs

I’m debating between being nice or mean in this, but I’ll be taking the high road. When Ryan actually stays for the entire game, he has been quite good for MVP. The GM is aware that he is an asset (sometimes). That being said, his indiscretions have certainly rubbed MVP players the wrong way and feel his lack of commitment is concerning heading into the postseason.

James Loesch: 4 Games | .533/.533/1.067 | 3 Runs, 4 RBIs

James has been a consistent hitting in the heart of MVP’s lineup. He has proven to be quite the personality in the clubhouse as he is providing a slew of one-liners that, some might say, are better than his father’s. He also appears to be at his best when both Pat and Kevin are at the games, something the scouts have noticed upon review.

Tom Loesch: 6 Games | .650/.650/1.300 | 9 Runs, 3 RBIs, 4 Wins, 4 K’s, 47 IP

Father Time hasn’t figured out a recipe to get this old cat as Loesch is actually getting better like fine wine. He is an early favorite for the Cy Young Award as he leads the league in Wins, ERA, and K’s making him a Triple Crown candidate in the league. However, it’s Tom’s bat that has been a pleasant surprise in flipping the lineup over to the top as, prior to Week 6, Loesch was hitting in the .700’s.

John “1-Leg” Merrill: 6 Games | .333/.333/.667 | 5 Runs, 3 RBIs

He is my favorite player on the team. John has been a wonderful veteran presence in the dugout to the young MVP hitters and, more importantly, to our budding star behind the dish, Ringo. The GM expects 1-Leg to heat up throughout July and remind everyone that John Merrill is still as sharp as ever.

Adam “Pio” Piotrowski: 3 Games | .385/.538/.923 | 3 Runs, 2 XBHs

Apparently was playing with a broken hand and has recently gotten surgery to heal his suspicious injury. Some speculate he was injured during a pillow fight with Tom Loesch, but MVP Insider could not confirm nor deny the story. Without Pio, many MVP outfielders have made great diving catches in honor of the star’s absence. Get well Pio and don’t be afraid to use your left hand, it feels like a stranger is doing it for you.

Jon Rich: 4 Games | .600/.600/1.200 | 1 Run, 8 RBIs, 1 W, 7 IP

Rich has been is classic form at the plate although his triple count is typically through the roof at this point. The GM attributes that to Rich being more focused on his pitching as it is starting to reveal itself as the future of MVP’s rotation. Jon will make his first career start on Sunday and many believe a perfect game is within reach.

Nick Rizzi: 6 Games | .727/.727/1.455 | 8 Runs, 10 RBIs

Rizz has been unreal to start the season and is a major factor behind MVP’s 1st half success. Amongst qualified hitters, Rizz leads the race for the batting title and has become a defensive benefit as he is an early favorite for an outfield gold glove nod. Is an MVP on the table for Nick? Absolutely.

Everett Wehr: 6 Games | .381/.524/.905 | 4 Runs, 2 RBIs, 3 XBHs

Ev has been a cool and steady presence at the bottom of the MVP lineup, especially because he plays in aviators, as well as providing some pop with 3 doubles. He has supplied MVP with an incredible amount of depth in the outfield as he can play all 4 positions with ease. He also has helped MVP’s overall height increase in Pio’s absence.

Shane “Meat Cannon” White: 5 Games | .462/.923/1.385 | 6 Runs, 7 RBIs, 3 XBHs

Shane has the best nickname on the team and has proven to be the best defensive third basemen with Nick being across ‘The Pond.’ Shane’s defense has been so spectacular that he could potentially win one of the two gold gloves awards up for grabs in the infield. The MVP GM is concerned, however, that Shane pulled his hamstring earlier in the week. Which is a tough blow just as Shane was getting back into his home run groove.

Zach “Z-DUBS” White: 5 Games | .526/.895/1.421 | 7 Runs, 9 RBIs, 3 XBHs

Zach is easily the favorite for MVP’s highly coveted Rookie of the Year. Despite a slow start, Zach has absolutely turned it around in both Week 5 and 6 delivering moonshots that have jumped him to the top of the MVP home run leaderboard. At this rate, Zach will be the first player not named Meat Cannon to win the home run race since Dave Wynkoop in 2017.

Upon review, the GM feels that MVP deserves an A for their first half performance. With the return of Baylous, Brady, & RJ as well as the red-hot Rizzi and Zach White, MVP’s lineup is going to be a headache 1-10, 1-13, 1-20, it doesn’t matter.

Notables:

• Tommy Bett makes 1 plate appearance and hits into double play, but had every MVP player on the fence in the 9th inning of a 20-run game. Safe to say, he’s a fan favorite.
• Muscles shows up, hits well, violates RJ, uses the word ‘pussified’, and swears he’ll keep coming to games but I wouldn’t bet on it.
• Keith makes a return to MVP against Sizzlin and became a Jewish Softball Hall of Fame member.
• 2 guest appearances made by Tommy Cirincione & Anthony Serc as both went 1-4 in their 1 game with MVP.
• Ryan Mullahey is nowhere to be found, MVP Insider will provide updates in July as to Big Red’s whereabouts.