BREAKING: Tom Brady Returns

Yes folks, you have read that right.

After 2 seasons without our beloved QB1 (sorry Kevin), he is finally making his comeback just as MVP started rolling. But not as much as the Stoners.

Before we go any further, let me make this clear. I am going to say some unprofessional stuff, I’m sorry about that.

Anyways, here we go; part update, part love letter…

So where was Tom?

Well, glad you asked because we have a lot to cover.

• August to February of 2019-2020: New England
• Autumn and Winter 2020, 2021, and 2022: Tampa Bay
  • Won 7th Super Bowl Ring in 2021
• Spring 2020, 2021, & 2022: Rockville Center
  • Posted a lifetime average of .304, collected 2 ECC Titles and numerous All-Conference honors
• Summer 2020 & 2021: “Working”
• Last Sunday: Delivered a top-notch Best Man speech

Safe to say this guy can Talk the Talk AND Walk the Walk.

Tom also played 1 game for the Rockcats last season because MVP was on a bye week. We aren’t entirely proud that he did this, but he’s handsome and hits the hell out of softballs. And I mean REALLY good looking. All is forgiven.

In his 1 season with MVP, he posted a ridiculous .722 average as a rookie. Only one MVP rookie has ever had a better campaign, but I’ll let you guess who that might be. Tom’s 2019 run with MVP also involved a Rookie of the Year snub, ‘Best Beard’ nominee, and capped off by MVP’s first DSSL Title since 2012. As we already know, this guy wins everywhere he goes.

Except with the Rockcats.

With Tom’s arrival and Ryan James’ imminent departure, it seems MVP is only getting better as the addition of Tom’s bat to a red-hot MVP could be bad news for the league.

We also got a quote from Tom about his return to the big stage and here’s what he said:

“Robert Brady is a wanker”

Tom Brady, probably

I found the comment to be off topic, but he insisted I add it to the article.

To each their own.

Anyways, our marketing team put together a ‘Welcome Back’ video for Tom, but it got lost. So here’s a fan made video for Tom that serves as a lovely substitute.

Enjoy.