MISSING: RYAN JAMES LAST SEEN EARLY SUNDAY MORNING IN KIM’S POCKET.
IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS MAN, PLEASE REPORT TO THE GM IMMEDIATELY:
Off-field issues continue to pile up for MVP as RJ continues to be MIA to ensure Kim doesn’t file for divorce even when Captain Baylous called his sister. A call that lasted all of 10 seconds and appeared to be a clear “No.”
Despite numerous efforts from this GM to offload this growing distraction, all 7 teams are hesitant to take on such an unreliable and, quite frankly, overrated shortstop.
Back to Softball.
Instead of doing a rundown of each inning, this recap will consist of individual performances from the lineup 1-14 because I write the blogs and that’s what I decided to do.
Leading Off: London (3-4, 3B, Grand Slam, 3 Runs, 6 RBIs) was a double shy of the cycle as he decided to pinch hit himself in the top of the 9th for his pops, Tommy Bett, to make his MVP debut. The GM also took one inning at 3rd base and booted the first and only ball to come his way. Needless to say, he is not the best infielder with the last name Bettenhauser.
Batting 2nd: Rizz (3-4, 2 Runs, 1 RBI) did NOT show-up for his scheduled early morning meet-and-greet, leavings tens of fans disappointed and ramifications for this will be addressed midweek according to the front office. He was also toasted on a Goblins line drive in left-center and claimed the Goblins hitter used an illegal bat, which could not be confirmed.
Batting 3rd: J-Rich (2-4, 1 Run, 2 RBIs and the winning pitcher on record) as per usual hit like only J-Rich can. However, it wasn’t his bat that did the talking against the Goblins, but his arm. J-Rich recorded his 1st career win as a starting pitcher and is the first MVP pitcher not named Tom Loesch to do so since 1988. He is an emerging candidate for Cy Young this season.
Cleaning Up: Meat Cannon (2-4, 2 2B, 1 Run, 2 RBIs) was elite at third base today and it appears MVP’s struggle to find a sustainable solution for the hot corner has been resolved, for now. Shane was also dooped out of a lefty at-bat because the GM wanted to hurry things along, citing a wedding as his excuse to get home before 11:30.
Batting 5th: Captain Baylous (2-4, 1 Run, 1 RBI) finally makes his long-awaited return from his 3-week hiatus and was excellent as usual. He noted his trip to our minor-league affiliates in Binghamton and Rochester as his reason for playing like the Captain America of the past.
Batting 6th: Pio (2-4, 2 2B, 1 Run) made his first appearance at shortstop this season as well as first base and has been a doubles machine for MVP. He was seen early this morning fishing at Cupsogue Beach County Park and caught a blue fish with a broken hand, now that’s a man.
Batting 7th: Gio (2-4, 3B, 2 Runs, 1 RBI) played a solid outfield, proving to be an invaluable defensive asset for MVP’s future. He also disappointed Shane yet again due to the absence of his beloved headband look. That being said, next Sunday will be Mike Giacchetto Headband Day Presented by BSN Sports. First 1,000 fans 14 and under will receive an Italian-themed headband.
Batting 8th: Better Baylous (1 RBI, 2 putouts behind the dish, 1 inning stint at 3rd) arrived to the game in an SWR Baseball bucket hat, a look deemed appropriate given the weather. However, some MVP players feel it may have caused his lackluster performance at the dish. Matt even resorted to hitting left-handed where he actually smoked a ball to the Goblins adorable little second basemen. It is worth noting that Matt is still the ‘Better Baylous’ and his defense reminded us of Mike Pisco from years past.
Batting 9th: Ev (3-4, 2B, 3 Runs) was running like he had no regard for MVP’s station-to-station rule which was implemented by Frank in the 3rd inning. He also attempted to back pick a runner at 1st from RCF when MVP lead by 15 runs. This GM respects the competitiveness and will take that into heavy consideration for the Rookie of the Year Award.
Batting 10th: One-Leg (1-4, 1 Run) made his first appearance in the outfield since before COVID and still showed the young guns how it’s done. He also provided hitting tips to Tommy Bettenhauser prior to his first career at-bat and is clearly showing signs of hitting coach material as MVP looks to expand their coaching staff.
Batting 11th: Z-Dubs (4-4, HR, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs, Player of the Game) gave us one for the ages in his signature MVP moment. Zach delivered a hitting clinic, smoking each and every ball he hit and when told the odds for a 4-4 day was +1200 he said f*ck the house and delivered a moon shot that Statcast shows rivaled a Giancarlo Stanton home run.
Batting 12th: Frank Cutinella (3-4. 2 Runs, 3 RBIs) hasn’t aged a day and proved that Sunday morning with a classic 3-4 day that makes us wonder why he’s ready to move on to senior leagues down in Georgia. He made a debut at short and nearly turned a double play which the Goblins 1st base coach ruined by calling the runner safe, which he was, but we gotta respect the veterans here.
Batting 13th: Kev (3-4, 2 Runs, 2 RBIs) was nearly a carbon copy of his father and it reminded us of the Griffey Father-Son duo for Seattle. Kev also played a solid second base and had an adventure out in right field, but made all the routine plays as we’ve come to expect from QB1. He also was nearly barreled over by a Goblins runner at second who locked his arms in anticipation for contact which appeared to be a dramatic effort to ignite a rivalry between the 2 teams.
Wrapping Things Up: Tom Loesch (3-4, 2 Runs, 2 RBIs) continues to hit as he was peppering the 3-4 hole all day long. He is now hitting over .700 on the season and was more than happy to let J-Rich take the bump. He also made a SPECTACULAR play at shortstop followed by the ‘Jordan Shrug’ as a casual celebration for his defensive excellence. He also wore long shorts today citing minors on the Goblins as his reasoning for his conservative look.
MVP walks away with a 24-7 win.
“That Kyle Baylous is running like he stole a Snickers bar from the General Store.”
“We’re scoring more than Matty Baylous at a Sweet Sixteen”
Tom Loesch on both Baylous Boys
Notables:
- MVP scores 20+ for the 1st time since their 2019 Championship Campaign
- Tommy Bettenhauser makes his MVP debut and uses Peaky Blinders (Season 6 out now on Netflix) theme as Walk-Up song, hits into double play because Kevin started running hoping to get him an RBI
- J-Rich makes pitching debut and gets rocked in the shin, but continues to deal and One-Leg rubs him up in dugout
- Frank and Tom arrange to play Tennis midweek
- Entire team wears uniforms
- Team BBQ next Sunday for Father’s Day
- MVP inaugural ‘Crazy Hat Day’ will take place on June 26th against the Rolling Stoners
- Midweek Blog will provide updates to Ryan James Saga
MVP Brew Crew Softball Club 
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